The Ritual of
Forgiveness
To benefit from
the information contained within this website to create a second chance
you have to believe you deserve peace of mind and a more enjoyable
lifestyle. If you don’t then you likely have a “mental block” or an
inner directed grudge preventing you from acting in your self interest.
I’ve treated
many people over the years who have condemned themselves for something
they’ve done in the past. The conversation usually goes like this, “I
did or didn’t do X and something terrible happened.” I may point out
that X may have been illegal or something a person wouldn’t normally be
expected to do but this approach doesn’t usually change his or her
feelings. (I sometimes point out that if they had killed someone so long
ago they’d be out of jail by now!)
What often
helps is a Ritual of Forgiveness that places a symbolic punctuation mark
in time just as graduations, weddings and other formal celebrations do.
A chapter opens as one closes.
In a quiet and peaceful setting write a letter to yourself at the age of
the incident(s). Outline the events that led to your actions. Imagine
yourself as you appeared then and show genuine compassion, empathy and
sympathy toward the younger person you once were. Vow to forgive
yourself and strive to become a better person from this point on.
When you’ve written as much as you can, burn the letter in a safe
fashion using a fireplace, campfire, or kitchen sink etc. From then on,
whenever you beat your self up for what happened think of the burning
document and say, “I forgave myself and am trying to be a better
person.” Then act in some positive fashion toward your goals. Do this
every time the memory(s) arises in your mind. In the least, this will
take the edge off your self-condemnation and allow you to plan and
progress toward a more pleasant future.
