Regulating Emergency
Emotions
Without the
emergency emotions of anxiety, anger and sadness, mankind would not have
survived the profound challenges we’ve faced throughout our vast history
on this planet. However, as we have become civilized these powerful
emotions have become less important to our survival. Unless adequately
regulated, emergency emotions are often a source of suffering.
Right or wrong, your mind automatically attaches emotional meaning to
events. If the level of emotions “fit” the situation, a proportionate
response will likely follow and things will run smoothly. However, over
or under responses usually lead to some form of negative impact on
overall levels of happiness and relationships with others.
For example, if I happen to yawn during a conversation with you, you
will react according to your interpretation. A,“he is bored with me”
interpretation may cause anxiety, anger or sadness. If anxious or sad
you may stop talking and search for a quick exit. If angry, you might
criticize my poor manners and/or wait to point out a flaw of mine. In
reality, I may have stayed up too late last night and am tired.
Use the
following format to raise your awareness of your emergency emotions. Do
they “fit” the situation or do you need to keep them in check?
Anxiety signals danger.
Anger signals trespass. Sadness signals loss.
Anxiety –
What event are you reacting to?
-
Rate how
much real danger you are in from 1 to 10?____
Is your
response proportionate to the danger? _____
If
exaggerated, use the following procedure:
Repeat the
following in a stern but not harsh inner voice:
"I will not
faint. I will not die. I will not lose my mind.
I can cope with these feelings and other symptoms."
"I need
to trigger the Calming Response."
The Calming Response:
Gently inhale through your nose, fill your lower lungs and push
your tummy out. As you breathe out calmly say in your mind,
“Relax, I can handle this.” Repeat this 10 times until your
breathing is under control. (Feeling a bit faint is not abnormal when
you do this.)
Focus your complete attention on the next task you need to accomplish.
Practice this daily before you are anxious or have a panic attack. This
way you will have the courage to face that which is upsetting you
without having to escape and thus perpetuating the cycle of anxiety – escape – relief – anxiety and so on.
Anger – What event are you reacting to?
Rate how
serious the trespass/offense is against you from 1 to 10?____
Is your
response proportionate to the trespass? ____
If exaggerated, dispute the thoughts sustaining your feelings of
anger.
For example state the truth in a firm inner voice. “It’s not the
end of the world.” “I’m mature enough to forgive them.”
“They probably didn’t really wish to upset me.”
Use the Calming Response as above and then focus your
complete attention on the next task you need to accomplish.
Does the fellow in this animated short film remind you of anyone?
The Cat Came Back by Cordell Barker
Sadness – What
event are you reacting to?
How grave
is the loss on a scale from 1 to 10? _______
Is your
response proportionate to the loss? _____
If
exaggerated, use the following procedure:
Is the loss
going to last forever? ______(yes or no)
Is the loss
going to ruin everything? _____
Is the loss
my entire fault? _____
If not, dispute
exaggerated negative beliefs with, “I can ________ to recover my
loss.” “I’ll put together a plan to recuperate.”
Act daily on this plan and note your efforts in some
fashion.
To remain motivated, compliment yourself when you’ve acted to
further your personal interests and moved closer to your dreams.
