How Thoughts Affect
Emotions:
At the Beach
Three men on a
tropical vacation decided to spend a day at the beach while their wives
went shopping. The first man had been raised in an unhappy family and
tended to focus on the gloomy side of life. When he arrived at the beach
he thought about being eaten by sharks, drowned by the surf, sunburned,
and robbed. These thoughts caused him to feel anxious and he spent the
day sitting under an umbrella warily watching strangers walk by.
The second man came from a chaotic family where neither parent exercised
much foresight or leadership. Consequences were rarely considered. He
viewed the ocean as completely safe, the sun weak and strangers
harmless. As a result, he was nearly carried out to sea by the rip-tide,
was badly sunburned and had his camera stolen.
The men returned to their hotel later in the afternoon. The pessimist
complained to his wife that he had had a lousy time at the beach. He was
bored, it was too hot, and there were thieves waiting to steal his
things. He intended to spend the rest of his vacation in the hotel room
reading thick novels and watching television. This upset his wife and
they began to argue.
Though the idealist whined about nearly drowning, being sunburnt and
having his camera stolen, his wife wasn’t very sympathetic. After all,
she had often warned him to swim more cautiously, to use sunscreen, and
not to trust strangers.
The realistic man reported having an absolutely great day! He played in
the surf for hours and didn’t get sunburned. He felt safe on the beach
because he had nothing to steal. Though he felt sorry for his
unfortunate friends he did not let their problems ruin his mood. After
all, they always ignored his advice and even seemed to prefer to learn
the hard way.
All three men went to the same beach. Their emotions and actions were
controlled by the nature of their thoughts. By accepting his negative
thoughts without question, the pessimistic man felt in danger and hid.
The idealist ignored the hazards posed by the sea and sun and was
harmed. The realist viewed the beach in a balanced fashion, offset the
dangers and enjoyed himself.
To improve their enjoyment of the beach, the pessimist and the idealist
would have to learn to think more like their realistic friend. The
pessimist needs to recognize the negative thoughts that ruin his mood,
and then to either ignore or replace them. To avoid danger, the idealist
must learn to predict the consequences of his actions more accurately.
